10 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Need to Make a Hard Decision

Recently my husband John and I have been with many people who are in the midst of having to make a tough decision. Old, young, married, single -- most of us struggle with decision-making, especially when the best decision isn’t that clear.

Our decision might involve a college choice, whether to move forward in a relationship or end it, a new job, or a decision about caring for elderly parents. It’s easy to let fear creep in: What if I make the wrong decision?

We cry out to the Lord for guidance, but only silence answers back. If the decision were between right and wrong, it would be easier. But too often life isn’t that clear. 

The struggle for me is that I want God to tell me now what his will is. But God is not in a hurry. He does what is best, not necessarily what is fast. It is often in the waiting that God speaks to me in fresh ways. I don’t like waiting. I don’t like ambiguity. But I have to remind myself that God knows me better than I know myself (Psalm 139) and He wants me to know His will far more than I want to. He will come through when I need to know. (Yes, I wish he’d hurry up a bit). However, He is working while I am waiting. 

Sometime ago John crafted these 10 questions to consider when making a decision. Many have found these helpful. In addition, you'll see below that my friend Jess has created a gorgeous bookmark for you as a free download. You can stick it in your Bible or give it to friends. You might even want to laminate it. I pray it will be an encouragement when you find yourself stuck as I often do!

10 Questions to Consider When Making a Decision

1. Am I in a right relationship with God?

If there is unconfessed sin in my life, it is a barrier between God and me. Our fellowship is broken. Psalms 32:1-6, 66: 18-20.

2. Do I want to know and do God’s will?

Jesus says that whoever is willing to do what God wants will know what it is. John 7:17

3. Have I asked God for wisdom?

God promises us sound judgment, but we must ask and keep on asking. James 1:5, 2 Timothy 1:7

4. Does the Bible speak to this decision in any way?

Some decisions have been clearly addressed in Scripture. God does not lead contrary to what He has already said in His word.

5. Have I assembled and studied all the facts?

It is wise to list the pros and cons and ask, “What obligations do I already have that I must keep?”

6. Do I have deep inner conviction and peace about this?

Do I have peace and conviction about what is right? Paul says, “Anything which does not arise from conviction is sin.” Romans 14:23, Philippians 4:6-7.

Sometimes we must pray and fast regularly about a question before we receive God’s peace. God’s peace is deeper than the acceptance given by a casual world.

7. Have I sought the advice of mature believers who know know me well?

Others will not always be right, but if three or four mature believers agree, their opinions must be seriously considered. Always ask others to pray for you as well as advise you.

8. Will this help me to better love God and my neighbor?

This is the most important goal in life. If something hinders this goal, we must carefully examine the problem. Matthew 22:37-39.

9. Is this my decision to make?

I may be worrying about something that will eventually be decided by someone else.

10. Do I have to decide now or can it wait?

Often we worry needlessly about decisions that are not really pressing Sometimes they go away.

Sometimes when I ask for guidance God doesn’t answer immediately. Often I’m not yet ready for the answer. I need to stop struggling to know His will and simply seek to know Him. In His time and in His way He will reveal His will to me. My primary job is simply to get to know Him better, to open my heart to whatever He would teach me in a time of waiting.

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

One of the things God has revealed to me is how much I like to be in control. I like to be decisive. I like clarity. But I am not in control. (OK, I am so tired of being reminded of this!!)

He is in control, and often in the waiting He is working in ways I cannot see. In His time, He will bring clarity. Just the other day I was struggling with close friends over a decision they had to make. I was tied up in knots for them and wondering how I could help. Out of the blue, God whispered to me, Susan they are my children. I will speak to them and reveal my plan…  My children… This was a gentle reminder to me that I am His child and my friends are His children. Although I knew that, in this moment I needed His reminder, His reassurance. This word was unexpected, and it came in a whispered thought into my head. This experience has encouraged me to open myself more to His whispers.

It’s good to pray:

Father, whisper into my head things I need to hear today. Help me not to be so focused on one decision that I miss out on something else you might want to say to me." (Jeremiah 33:3)

Before you go, be sure to grab your free bookmark above if you haven't already!

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