One Surprising Thing that Every Marriage Needs!

When each of our five children were born, I began to pray for their future mates (if it was God’s will that they marry). I prayed for that little girl or boy to come to know Jesus at an early age and to grow steadily in Him. And, I prayed for the parents raising this child to have wisdom. I really hoped there were parents out there praying for me!

For some reason, I felt compelled to pray for my sons to marry girls who would make them laugh. I don’t know why I prayed that, but my boys knew I was praying for this. 

Our son John was working in England for the Rev John Stott when he fell suddenly in love with a girl from North Carolina. My husband already knew and loved her, yet our son had barely met her. It happened quickly, and the “telling moment” came when I received this postcard in the mail: 

“Dear Mom, she makes me laugh. What more can I say?”

This card is framed on my dresser, so I see it often, and it brings me joy!

But what I’ve realized since, and even more as we age, is how very much we all need to laugh.

We live in a hard world. 

We are so busy.

We take one another for granted and ourselves too seriously. 

We desperately need to lighten up. 

Our marriages need laughter and our families need it, lots of it.

Do you ever think about God the Father laughing?

More likely, we think of God as serious, stern, firm in discipline while He waits for us to mess up again. 

Instead, He is delighting over us!! (Zephaniah 3:17)

AND He has given us a simple gift we often fail to use: Laughter.

When I think about creation, I imagine God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit in the Garden of Eden roaring in laughter as they created the world, the animals, and everything in it. Surely, they must have been “punchy” from all their creating when they designed a warthog with a hilarious tail sticking straight up on that fat, squatty body. Or even a cow with eyes out each side of her head just chewing all day long to fill its four-part stomach! The colorful fish in the sea (Check out Psalm 8), my golden retriever Charley’s tail sticking out his behind to laugh in wagging.

It’s all too easy for us to let our imagination go to dark places without even realizing it. 

Instead, I believe God wants us to use the gift of imagination to focus on joy–His joy in creation, His joy in us. 

Have you ever considered that He is laughing with us?

Getting out in nature can nourish laughter. Creation enables us to recover a sense of wonder and thoughtfulness and shed cynicism. 

The Westminster catechism says our chief end is “to glorify God and to ENJOY Him forever.”

My mother once asked us kids, “What questions will God ask you when you get to heaven?”

Hmm…

He will ask, “What did you think of my world? Did you enjoy it?”

The older I get the more I realize that I need my sense of joy and laughter to be restored. Laughter gives perspective and infuses fun into marriage and family life. Here are a few ideas that help me.

• Have a funny friend.

I’m not naturally funny. But my friend Judy is. Several years older than I am, she laughs at everything. Her laughing makes me laugh. And her humor gives me perspective. Pray for a “Judy” in your life. Spend time with folks who are naturally funny. Your gift to them is to enjoy their gift of humor. 

• Do silly, unexpected things with your mate. 

Recently, while cooking supper, we put on some old 50s music and danced (and kissed) in the kitchen. This simple “switch” turned cooking (I don’t love to cook) into a spontaneous moment of fun. Pinch your hubby’s bum when he walks through the room. Leave a post-it note on his mirror, pillow, or laptop. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. 

• Play appropriate pranks.

Leave a rubber snake in the tub. “Short sheet” a guest. We did this to our twins’ boyfriends who came together to visit, and one of them thought I didn’t know how to make a bed! They still married our girls! 

Share your favorite prank or what makes you laugh in the comment section!

• Choose laughter over frustration.

My husband has a habit of leaving drawers and cupboards open, and it makes me crazy. Frustration creeps in, and I need God to help me choose laughter over frustration. Asking myself this question helps: “Susan, does it really matter?” After being married for 55 years to this good man, it doesn’t matter, and I need to choose laughter rather than become irritated.

• Find two other couples and plan a SILLY date. 

Doing something silly or new with friends restores perspective and encourages laughter. Ask one another fun questions. What is one of your most embarrassing moments? Who is the funniest person you know, and why? When was the last time you roared with laughter? What caused it?

• Pray for laughter in your lives and in your children’s marriages.

Too often, our default is to become gloomy, critical, negative, or just plain blah. 

Often I pray:

 “Father, restore to me the joy of my salvation. Renew a right spirit within me!” (Psalm 51:12)

May Psalm 98 encourage you today!