Why Thank-You Notes Matter
It’s that time of the year… Do you struggle to get your kids to write thank-you notes? The late legendary advice columnist, Ann Landers, once said that the majority of the letters she received fell into two categories—worry from someone about their marriage or sadness from a grandparent who never received thank-you notes from grandchildren.
I keep some of my favorite thank-you notes taped up in my laundry room. I love seeing them while I'm working!
Alas, the art of writing thank-you notes does seem to have decreased in today’s culture. And yet this is an important discipline we need to practice and to teach our kids. Why?
It is a character trait. Thank-you notes teach us to honor and appreciate others. They serve to keep us from taking others for granted. They help to protect our kids from an ever-encroaching sense of entitlement. Our culture cries out, ”please me, satisfy me, make me happy.” Thank-you notes are one tiny discipline to train us in appreciating others. And the art of appreciation will go a long way in marriage. We live in the Washington DC area where folks here are incredibly busy and often self-focused. Yet, one thing I’ve noticed: They write thank-you notes–for interviews, for luncheons, for a favor done, for a gift received. From the most well-known to the least noticed, one often receives a note. It’s expected. And it’s a good thing. Our church has an intern program for post-college grads, and every year when John was the rector when the interns arrived, my husband gave each one of them a gift of personalized cards and explained to them the importance of writing thank-you notes. Some have grown up writing them, others have never written a single one. But they need to learn—it’s a character trait.
You might want to keep some of your favorites, too! Do we like to write thank you notes? Not usually. Do our kids? No. But it’s our job as parents to train them to write them anyway. Provide the stationery. Set a deadline by which all thank-you notes must be written or privileges (the car, TV, computer, etc.) will be withheld until they are finished. And then follow through. Yes, your kids will complain. That’s their job! But do it anyway. You are training them in thoughtfulness and respect–two crucial character traits they will need for life. Little kids can color a picture and dictate words. Bigger kids can write brief notes. Yes, they could email or text. However a handwritten note will mean a lot more to the recipient. It shows thought and time.
Plan a thank-you note party at your kitchen table, complete with refreshments and music. This gets everyone involved and makes this task more enjoyable.
So you haven’t finished your Christmas thank-you notes? I haven’t either. I need to get out all the left over goodies, put on some good music and have a party!
Thankfully as a child I was taught by my mother how to properly thank someone either on a note card or in person. I continued the training with the raising of my own children. Today you can find in my home a desk just for note writing. It's become a habit collecting pretty stationery and cards. In fact one particular friend and I choose to write letters as opposed to catch up over social media. I ended up volunteering at my church to send Birthday/Anniversary cards to the Senior Citizen community of my church, as cards are still a welcome sight in the mail in our social media culture. Thank You Susan for this article, it resonated and is a good reminder to us all. A Blessed New Year to You!
My mom instilled this lifelong habit in us when we were growing up! The day after Christmas was spent writing. It is like a written prayer and honors the Lord’s gift of the giving person. Thank you, Susan, for this encouragement.